4/15/26

4/15/26- 30 days Clean!!!! So proud of you after you came to church with us, you left to go to The Worship Room to share your testimony, then we meet you at the AA meeting where you got your 30 day chip. Im praying for you every step of this!! I love you so much and want to see you succeed. Got the first time in a long time, I can see possibilities that I was afraid to hope for before.

4/14/26

4/14/26- doing your first IOP today. it starts at 9 o’clock this morning. I am really hoping you get up in time. You made it to your class. You said you learned a lot today. including the fake it to you, make it apparently, there was some talk about changing your reaction and pretending you had a good reaction every time you have a negative until finally all you will have as positive reactions. Sounds like a great plan to me.  So many times life throws curveballs. oh, last night, you invited me to a Bible study with you at the worship room. I got to say that was a proud mama moment. I really liked going with you. You are around a good group of people and I’m very thankful that God has surrounded you and answered my prayers.

Tonight, you left to go to a Recovery Church group in Live Oak with Pricilla and a few others. I couldn’t help but grab these pictures from the camera as you were digging to find your Bible to bring with you. 

BIG DIFFERENCE in this night you shoes up after OD at 3am

and tonight when you came home from Bible Study

4/11/26

4/11/26- You met with your sponsor Steve this morning and then we went to visit grandma

 in The Villages. We cruised in golf carts,found out there are certain times you get Visitor IDs at Savannah Center,  went to Sumter Landing square to listen to some music and do a boat ride after eating at Johnny Rockets. Then we came back to play wahoo with Grandma. Such a great day! 

4/10/26

4/10/26- First day day at home. We got you up early to yard sale without buying anything. We enjoyed the drive. You were quiet. You really wanted us to buy you a pack of cigarettes, but we did not buy them. I wanted to because something in me still had a hard time saying no. I really want you to have a work ethic and if I make it all easy, it will never happen. Anyway you communicated with your AA friends and got Steve to be your sponsor. He is going to meet with you tomorrow to get started on your steps before we go to see grandma at the villages. You went to your 2nd meeting at 5:30 tonight and meet some more people. I’m praying you find yourself and the strength of looking to Jesus For Your strength. You will find Him your way and it will stick!

4/9/26

4/9/26- this was from Karl on the first week you were there and we knew you could get letters. We didn’t tell him anything about you being on a spiritual journey. and We didn’t send it to you because we wanted you to not feel pushed to make this about following Jesus. We want you to come to that on your own, but he wrote this thinking you were in a spiritual retreat??? OR he might know about recovery and knew that you would come to a good place? I haven’t heard him say that, so who knows, but wanted to make sure I saved this in case you wanted:

Joshua, I am sure you don’t remember me, but I was part of the Life Group that met at your house a few months ago.  I am thrilled to hear that you are seeking God’s path for your life and want to encourage you in this.  Following His footsteps is for sure not always easy, but it is for sure always the best path.  The most important aspect of this is to establish your own relationship with Him through prayer.  I am praying for you on this journey!  Please keep us updated with your progress.  In Christ, Karl

He’s precious and I definitely can tell you after being in group with him, he is serious about praying for friends.

You called tonight and think you might still get out Thursday or Friday

 you wanted me to listen to

 “Quitter” by Cameron Whitcomb from you to me

https://youtu.be/AQx9UtwBQGM?si=hEsTErwxlHlcWwYI

then said these are helpful

“save me” Jelly Roll

https://youtu.be/7_eXiEbx1e0?si=TAjUKaOZY-huDuLo

“an ode to lost jigsaw pieces”

https://youtu.be/rN51MUSI3kI?si=s1LuKZkHogD73PJP

4/8/26

4/8/26

We thought you might get out of treatment on day 21, but just finding out you might be there till Monday. Ib know that woo be hard to stay another weekend, but I believe that will actually help you. I hope it doesn’t disappoint you too bad at this point. You are doing so good. 

4/6/26

4/6/26-

You called us and read poems to us tonight. I tried to find them and found these

To My Body: A Letter of Return

I am sorry I forgot you were my home.

I treated you like a stranger,

A cage to be rattled, a house to be wrecked,

Ignoring the gentle warnings of your hunger,

The screams of your nerves in the quiet dark.

I traded your stillness for chaos. 

I turned you into a vessel for the void,

Forging your muscles into tools of damage,

Drowning your breath in heavy air,

Leaving you battered, trembling, and frail.

You only wanted to live, to breathe, to mend,

But I made you a servant to the burning urge.

Forgive me for the cold nights I left you shivering,

For the poisons I welcomed into your veins.

You, who bore my weight without complaint,

Who healed wounds I knowingly reopened.

Today, I sit with you, skin to skin,

And hear the steady rhythm you still keep. 

I am coming back to you now.

No more a thief, but a guardian.

I will mend the walls I broke,

And learn to love the heartbeat I silenced.

We are not enemies, you and I.

We are one, and we are finally heading home. 

A Letter from Your Disease

TO: You

FROM: Your Addiction

Hello there,

I hate meetings! I hate higher power! I hate anyone who has a program!

To all who come in contact with me, I wish you death, I wish you suffering!

Allow me to introduce myself!

I am the disease of alcoholism and drug addiction—

Cunning, baffling, and powerful, that’s me. I have killed millions and I’m pleased.

I love to catch you with the element of surprise. I love pretending I am your friend and lover.

I have given you comfort, have I not? Wasn’t I there when you were lonely?

When you wanted to die, didn’t you call me? I was there!

I love to make you hurt! I love to make you cry!

Better yet, I love it when I make you so numb you can neither hurt nor cry.

You can’t feel anything at all. This is my true Glory!

I will give you instant gratification and all I ask of you is long term suffering.

I’ve been there for you always, when things were going right in your life,

you invited me in. You said you didn’t deserve these good things,

and I was the only one who would agree with you.

Together we were able to destroy all good things in your life! People don’t take me seriously!

They take heart attacks, strokes, and even diabetes seriously, fools that they are, they don’t know

that without my help these things would not be made possible.

I am such a hated disease— And yet, I do not come uninvited.

You choose to have me.

So many have chosen me over reality and peace.

More than you hate me; I hate all of you who have a 12-step program.

Your programs, your meetings, your support, your Higher Power all weaken me and I can’t

function in the manner I am accustomed to.

Now I must lie here quietly. You don’t see me, But I am growing bigger than ever.

When you only exist, I may live. When you live, I only exist.

But I am here and until we meet again, If we meet again, I wish you suffering and death!

Signed,

Your Disease