4/6/26

4/6/26-

You called us and read poems to us tonight. I tried to find them and found these

To My Body: A Letter of Return

I am sorry I forgot you were my home.

I treated you like a stranger,

A cage to be rattled, a house to be wrecked,

Ignoring the gentle warnings of your hunger,

The screams of your nerves in the quiet dark.

I traded your stillness for chaos. 

I turned you into a vessel for the void,

Forging your muscles into tools of damage,

Drowning your breath in heavy air,

Leaving you battered, trembling, and frail.

You only wanted to live, to breathe, to mend,

But I made you a servant to the burning urge.

Forgive me for the cold nights I left you shivering,

For the poisons I welcomed into your veins.

You, who bore my weight without complaint,

Who healed wounds I knowingly reopened.

Today, I sit with you, skin to skin,

And hear the steady rhythm you still keep. 

I am coming back to you now.

No more a thief, but a guardian.

I will mend the walls I broke,

And learn to love the heartbeat I silenced.

We are not enemies, you and I.

We are one, and we are finally heading home. 

A Letter from Your Disease

TO: You

FROM: Your Addiction

Hello there,

I hate meetings! I hate higher power! I hate anyone who has a program!

To all who come in contact with me, I wish you death, I wish you suffering!

Allow me to introduce myself!

I am the disease of alcoholism and drug addiction—

Cunning, baffling, and powerful, that’s me. I have killed millions and I’m pleased.

I love to catch you with the element of surprise. I love pretending I am your friend and lover.

I have given you comfort, have I not? Wasn’t I there when you were lonely?

When you wanted to die, didn’t you call me? I was there!

I love to make you hurt! I love to make you cry!

Better yet, I love it when I make you so numb you can neither hurt nor cry.

You can’t feel anything at all. This is my true Glory!

I will give you instant gratification and all I ask of you is long term suffering.

I’ve been there for you always, when things were going right in your life,

you invited me in. You said you didn’t deserve these good things,

and I was the only one who would agree with you.

Together we were able to destroy all good things in your life! People don’t take me seriously!

They take heart attacks, strokes, and even diabetes seriously, fools that they are, they don’t know

that without my help these things would not be made possible.

I am such a hated disease— And yet, I do not come uninvited.

You choose to have me.

So many have chosen me over reality and peace.

More than you hate me; I hate all of you who have a 12-step program.

Your programs, your meetings, your support, your Higher Power all weaken me and I can’t

function in the manner I am accustomed to.

Now I must lie here quietly. You don’t see me, But I am growing bigger than ever.

When you only exist, I may live. When you live, I only exist.

But I am here and until we meet again, If we meet again, I wish you suffering and death!

Signed,

Your Disease