FIRST TIME MOWING TODAY 6/15/15

Today was the first time mowing the yard,(with a riding lawnmower). You had about half the yard to mow and when you were done with half of that you thought you were done and started to put the mower up. When daddy told you the area behind granny Flos still needed to be mowed, you got sad, but you sucked it up anmd got er done!

So proud when you work hard. I pray you learn to work hard and get jobs done so you can always be a responsible young man. I love you! 

GRADES FOR THE YEAR (6th grades)

Josh,

 

I am proud of your report card.  It’s not been an easy year for you.  We have worked hard to get all your assignments made up and you tried really hard on the TCAPS and it shows.  You brought your grades up on most of your subjects and so you ended up having Cs for the yearly grade.   

Next year, in 7^th grade, you will work hard and you will see results.  Don’t give up! You are a very smart young man and you can do anything you decide to do. I am adding a picture of your grades for your 6^th grade year so that this will be a reminder of how far you have come when you are in high school making straight As.  I love you and I am so proud of you!

 

I LOVE YOU IN SPITE OF BEHAVIOR

I love you even when you fail. You are WORTH LOVING!! Here was a note I put on Facebook today

SHAME FROM ADHD -From ADDitude Magazine

SHAME/GUILT

Shame Is Not Guilt

Shame is one of the oldest known English words that originally meant to “hide or cover up.” As such, shame is the hardest thing to deal with since it tends to be hidden and never addressed. Feeling shame is different than feeling guilt. Guilt focuses on what one has done. Shame focuses on who one is.

Feeling Separate and Unequal

For ADHDers, shame arises from the repeated failure to meet expectations from parents, teachers, friends, bosses, and the world. It is estimated that those with ADHD receive 20,000 more negative messages by age 12 than those without the condition. They view themselves as fundamentally different and flawed. They are not like other people.

Feeling Bad About Oneself

It is especially painful when well-meaning people in an ADHD person’s life point out that he has failed or fallen short. ADHDers are accused, directly or through implication, of being lazy or willfully disobedient—as if they set out to fail. It’s hard not to feel bad about yourself. In fact, one expert believes that “low self-esteem” should be one of the criteria for diagnosing ADHD in adults.

Anger for Those Who Criticize

Those with ADHD who feel shame withdraw into themselves—or hide behind a rage at the perceived source of the negativity. This may explain why people with ADHD fear letting others get to know them intimately or to see how they live. The ADDer harbors two horrible secrets: Their future is uncontrolled and uncontrollable and life can inflict wounding shame just as easily as it engenders success.

Problems with Trying to Be Perfect

Shame causes many ADHDers to try to be perfect. A person thinks: “If I look and do everything perfectly, I can avoid shame.” An ADHDer who holds this belief is constantly evaluating everyone in their lives—friends, family, children—to see what they approve of and value, and gives it back to them. The person with ADHD forgets what he genuinely wants from his own life.

Just Giving Up

Many ADHDers who feel shame stop trying to do things—at work and at home—unless they are assured in advance of quick, complete, and easy success. They do not have the ability to sustain effort for long if they are not succeeding completely. This is often misinterpreted as laziness, leading the person to feel more shame and more misunderstood. This is one reason video games are so popular. If you fail, only you know. You reboot and move on, as if nothing happened.

Shying Away from Help

Shame gets in the way of ADHD adults and kids asking for help. For many people with ADHD, telling a doctor about their failures and asking to receive medication to help them succeed is unthinkable. They have tried everything, and it hasn’t worked. Many children would rather flunk than ask the teacher for help. This is why many parents feel blindsided when they discover how badly their child is doing in school. Their child didn’t tell them because it was so shameful to admit it.

Blaming Others

Many with ADHD equate blaming someone else for their failures with fixing the problem that caused them to feel shame. Once they have found someone to blame, they wash their hands of responsibility and accountability for correcting the mistake. The goal of breaking the cycle of shame is to adopt financier George Soros’ view: “There is no shame in being wrong, only in failing to correct our mistakes.”

LAUGH AWAY THE SHAME

For the ADHDer, humor is one of the best weapons against shame. Laughing at a situation that has gone wrong or a mistake you have made brings more self-acceptance and softens the often-harsh attitudes he developed about himself in childhood. Humor takes away shame’s power over us.

Accept Yourself—Warts and All

Although people who feel ashamed are intensely focused on how the outside world sees them, the first step in combatting it is self-acceptance. Unless a person with ADHD is able to accept and value herself, even though she is not perfect, she can’t really believe that others can love her just as she is.

Find a Cheerleader

Having someone—a friend, neighbor, coach, or grandparent—who accepts and loves a child or adult with ADHD, despite his faults and shortcomings, is vital in overcoming shame. This is the opposite of perfectionism, in which approval is contingent on what the person has done lately. The accepting person acts as a vessel that holds the memory of you as a good and valuable person, even when things go wrong.

Strength in Numbers

An ADHD support group can be a welcome island in an ADHDer’s world. Finally, the person is understood. The other people in the group have been in his shoes and know the shame of failure and being different. The group sees the person as he is and corrects the distortions that result from hiding in an inner world of shame. What’s more, self-help groups set ADHD-specific goals that are more realistic and loving.

Uncover the Truth

A doctor and therapist need to be vigilant for signs of shame because most ADHDers hide it from the world. It is key to proper diagnosis and successful therapy that therapist and patient are aware of the emotional intensity that is part of the patient’s life. A lot of patients attempt to hide this emotional component, fearful of being wounded further if the truth were known.

Playing Chess with dad for the first time

Last night was the first night you played Chess with dad. He is teaching you and challenging you with brain games. It was so neat to watch you be passionate about playing. I wish I could keep up.:) You are so smart! Your brain works so hard! I am so thankful you have such a great dad who loves you so much! 

JUST DANCE WITH YOUR SIBLING

 just thought you'd want some pictures of you guys playing "just dance" together. You were dancing to the song "I've had the time of my life" and were having a blast. You will look back on these moments and cherish them the rest your lives.

I

Facing the Truth

You seem to be having a lot of problems with lying to avoid trouble and to get your way. We dont want any open doors for the enemy to steal your destiny in God. We are trying to work on that. Todays devotional

Facing the Truth Brings a Happier Life 

Nobody can be set free from a problem until they're willing to admit they have one. An alcoholic, drug addict or anyone who's lost control of their life is doomed to suffer until they're able to say, "I've got a problem, and I need help with it." 

Even though our problems may have been brought upon us because of something done against our will, we have no excuse for allowing the problem to persist, grow and even take control over our entire life. Our past experiences may have made us the way we are, but we don't have to stay that way. We can take the initiative by taking positive steps to change things, and we can ask for God's help. 

Whatever your problem may be, you must face the truth and assume some personal responsibility. The Bible says we must evaluate ourselves. That might seem daunting, but Jesus Christ is in you and can help you through any past problems and issues. 
Face the truth, it can be the beginning of a happier life! 

Prayer Starter: Holy Spirit, I don't want to live in denial and fear of my problems. I choose to evaluate myself and get to the bottom of these issues because I know that You can help me work through them to have a happier life.